Crack might be “wack,” and crack might be “cheap,” but judging by her X Factor performance on Sunday night, Whitney Houston is back to basin’ again (FF to the 4:00 mark for the especially crack-y stuff). Star Magazine says

The admitted drug user’s bizarre appearance on Britain’s The X Factor raised eyebrows Sunday, as she nervously struggled through her song “Million Dollar Bill,” and seemed disoriented during the interview afterward.

When asked by the host when her album was to be released, Whitney paused and stared at the ground before stammering, “Yeah, the um…the album? It should released this weekend or next week sometime. I’ll be back here in April for the tour.”

When [the host] asked her what she thought of the talent, Whitney again looked at the floor for the answer. “I thought that they were…um…how do I put this? Really good.” Then she fiddled with her nose and added, “So that’s um…they’re young.”

Jesus Christ she’s freakin’ twitchy! All that’s missing is a herkie into a pile of folding chairs and a nervous smelling of the fingers she had shoved under her armpits during her Meredith Baxter-Birney monologue and she could be the old black version of Mary Katherine Gallagher.

I’m a day late and a dollar short on this one, but it seems that Beyonce suffered a wardrobe malfunction onstage at the Oscars Sunday night. Put your face right next to the monitor and squint and you’ll see it. You might need to tilt the screen a little. Maybe lean way back. Then ask yourself if scouring the internet for celebrity nipples is where you saw yourself ten years ago and try to determine at what point your life became a meaningless void. At least that’s the way I did it.

Clenching in her hideous House of Dereon dress: