May 14, 2012
Shortly after announcing that Britney Spears had signed on to become a judge on X Factor, Fox revealed that former Disney star Demi Lovato would be joining her illustrious ranks as the fourth and final judge for the upcoming season. People magazine says:
Confirmation of their new roles was made Monday at the FOX upfronts in New York City.
“I’m so excited about this whole experience,” Spears, 30, said. “It’s going to be so much fun and so different from anything I’ve ever done. I’m ready to find a true star.”
“I am totally stoked to be here,” Lovato, 19, added. “I’m excited to represent my generation and I’m ready to find the winner.”
I think it’s clear why they went with Demi Lovato. The raw sex appeal. And I of course mean “raw” in the “inner thigh chafing” sense of the word. She’s about to Hulk right out of those pants she’s wearing.
Performing in Buenos Aires two weeks and 73 chalupas ago:
Apr 17, 2012
Christina Aguilera and her armpit fat performed on “The Voice” last night in what best I can figure is some sort of industrial-strength polymer girdle and a pair of platform boots that would make Lita Ford weep with delight. She looks like an if-they-mated Brooke Hogan and Snooki with premenstrual bloat.
Feb 9, 2012
This is the best Demi Lovato’s looked since she got out of rehab and got all fat. I don’t know if it’s the angle or her position or what, but I’m inclined to believe I would in fact hit that. I know, I was just as surprised as you are.
At the Sheraton Hotel in Chile:
Dec 12, 2011
Obscenely pregnant Jessica Simpson just signed an estimated $3 million deal with Weight Watchers to lose the post-pregnancy weight and become a news spokesperson for their weight loss program. According to Page Six:
Sources tell us the blond star has been fielding offers from a number of weight-loss programs, [but she ultimately chose to go with Weight Watchers].
One source said, “The deal is in place, and after having her baby, she’ll start with Weight Watchers to lose her baby weight.”
So it actually behooves her to put on more weight before the baby comes because then her post-pregnancy weight loss will seem all the more drastic. It will inspire fatties everywhere to believe the secret to looking like a slightly less bloated Jessica Simpson is measuring portions and assigning points and ordering from the WW section of the menu at Applebee’s, when the reality is it will be the personal trainer, the personal chef, a prescription for Adderall and Ambien, illegally obtained human growth hormone and $10,000 worth of liposuction and that will make Jessica Simpson look like she did before the baby and Krispy Kreme wrecked her body.
With fiance Eric Johnson and sister Ashlee and her son Bronx in New York yesterday:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
Nov 30, 2011
Jessica Simpson has made a point of making herself as repellant as possible of late, and last night’s FFaNY Awards at the Museum of Modern Art was no exception. The Daily Mail says:
The star says her glistening [pregnant] sheen is actually because she’s a little too hot.
‘People always say that pregnant women have a glow,’ she [said]. ‘And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death!”
That’s just what my mom used to tell me when she was pregnant — she was “glowing.” It wasn’t the DT sweats or anything. Whatever. I always knew that was a lie. Just like she wasn’t “blossoming,” either. I think I know a fart when I hear one.
On the red carpet (no, she’s not the red carpet, but I can see how you might be fooled):
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
Nov 21, 2011
The 2011 American Music Awards were last night, and no, I didn’t watch them, and no, I’m not gonna look up who won what. Nobody cares about the fuckin’ AMA’s. It’s the music industry’s equivalent of the Dundee Awards. What I will talk about is how fat Christina Aguilera looked in that dress (watch the performance after the jump). Oh, honey. The Daily Mail says:
Christina Aguilera’s bandage dress was somewhat challenged as she appeared onstage last night… at the American Music Awards in Los Angeles.
The Voice star bulged out of her bandage-style silver dress while performing the smash hit single Moves Like Jagger with Maroon 5.
As she was raised onto the stage mid-song on a glittery silver podium, Christina looked significantly heavier than the size four she has claimed to be.
I have never before seen a woman who so seamlessly encapsulated both Anna Nicole Smith’s‘s refined sense of style and Tonya Harding’s stately elegance. All this time, science said it couldn’t be done. At least not without six hundred boxes of irradiated powdered donuts and a cattle prod.
More of Fatty Fatty Two-by-Four, plus some of Taylor Swift looking beautiful on the AMAs red carpet:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
(more…)
Nov 16, 2011
Miley Cyrus took to her Twitter yesterday to address her recent weight gain by posting a picture of an anorexic girl to shame her detractors for encouraging eating disorders by calling her fat. She tweeted:
By calling girls like me fat this is what you’re doing to other people. i love MYSELF & if you could say the same.
I don’t wanna be shaped like a girl I LOVE being shaped like a WOMAN & trust me ladies your man wont mind either 
@ddlovato AMEN! I will destroy any one that ever calls you the F word. You have the SEXIIIESTTTT curvyyyy body! I LOVE IT! #werkthosecurves
I guess there’s solidarity in numbers for fat girls. They instinctively flock together like a herd of rhinoceroses. Except instead of the Serengeti plain, it’s in front of a mall Cinnabon.
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
