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It seems every day brings with it a new story illustrating just how pathetic Demi Moore has become in her desperate attempts to cling to youth. Case in point: Remember that party with the penis birthday cake? Demi does too, because she “secretly” was there. Hint: If you have to secretly attend a party, that could be a sign that you shouldn’t be there. Just a thought. Says TMZ,

Multiple sources who were at Club Icon on January 14 tell us … Demi was hanging out with her daughter Rumer and some young friends … mostly kickin’ it in the VIP section.

We’re told Demi was drinking Red Bull all night … a drink she’s been obsessively sucking down for years. We’re told she left with Rumer sometime after midnight.

A few days later, Demi was seen clubbing with Rumer around Hollywood … and on January 23rd, she was hospitalized after inhaling nitrous oxide in the form of whip-its, a drug that’s super popular with high school kids.

I feel bad for Rumer. I mean, it’s gotta be tough to have a mom who wants to tag along with you and your friends. They probably talk shit about her, and Rumer probably has to make excuses for her. It could be worse, though. They should be glad that their company is all that she’s after. She could looking to assimilate their organs and fluids in order to regenerate.

Vanessa Hudgens and Rachel McAdams at the premiere of Journey 2: The Mysterious Island:

The mystery substance that Demi Moore was abusing the night she had a seizure and was rushed to the hospital was none other than whip-its. As in nitrous oxide. No, I swear. It must have been one hell of a middle school party! TMZ says:

One of Demi’s friends who was at her home told emergency workers Demi was doing whip-its. A whip-it is a street name for a type of nitrous oxide inhalant.

The friend said she became upset when Demi had a reaction to a whip-it and lapsed into semi-consciousness.

It appears Demi had symptoms of a seizure — after inhaling the nitrous.

A whip-it is not a common drug among people of Demi’s age and social status. It’s typically used by younger people who are looking for a cheap thrill.

Jesus, whip-its? Now that’s one I never woulda guessed in a million years. 49 is just way too old to be doing that kinda shit. Demi should stick with more age-appropriate drugs, like Estroderm and Rheumatrex.

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