This is one of Hugh Hefner’s many ex-hookers girlfriends Karissa Shannon, out with her new boyfriend. Well, I don’t think there could be more of a contrast between the two. One is ancient, white, saggy all over, relies on a pill to be able to copulate, which is probably like having sex with a bag of cottage cheese, while the other is young, black, and probably has a penis the size of Hef’s bruised-old-man-skinned forearm. I’d say it’s a step up.

Anne Hathaway’s skin is the kind of thing you might see at a barbecue at Twelve Oakes with the Wilkeses, right before a handsome blockade runner with a debonair smile leers up at you knowingly from the bottom of the staircase railing. I didn’t think it was possible to have skin that white without a mammy and your very own cotton plantation.

At the Alice in Wonderland premiere yesterday:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online

Actor Rupert Everett recently voiced his opinion on the death of Michael Jackson in a spectacular stream of verbal diarrhea. He told the Daily Mirror

“[Michael Jackson] looked like a character from Shrek. We all watched as he changed from black to white. He was living performance art. I think it was fortuitous that he died. He was a freak.”

Michael Jackson was “a freak?” Well, there’s a case of the surgically-disfigured pot calling the kettle black! But not too black. He continued:

“We have Michael Jackson, a black man who has gone white, and we have President Barack Obama, who is a half-white man gone black. It’s absolutely fascinating to watch.”

Then he added, “Ooh, ooh — I almost forgot — what’s black and white and dead all over? Michael Jackson! Ha ha! Get it?” before kicking his way through a crowd of paraplegic children and blind puppies.

Speaking of blind puppies, cute pictures of a dog named Bonnie who serves as a seeing eye dog for a blind dog named Clyde: