Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown are Good Parents

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A former boyfriend of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown’s 18-year-old daughter Bobbi Kristina is alleging that she is addicted to cocaine — and he sold a couple of photos of her hoovering up blow at a party last month to prove it. The Daily Mail says:

In the pictures, a woman alleged to be Kristina is shown snorting lines of a white powdery substance, alleged to be cocaine.

According to the National Enquirer, she was snapped using the drug at two different parties.

The article that she regularly indulges in marijuana and ‘guzzles beer and gets smashed on grain alcohol.’

Bobbi Kristina was quick to respond last night after the photos were made public, tweeting:

A former very dear person to me did this. Set me up to make it look exactly what it looks like. God will smite them yes…

But it’s really not what it looks like… People will do anything for money which is extremely sad, and I’m very hurt by this.

Thing’s people do these days to hurt others is a shame. All I can do now, is keep my head up high, keep looking towards the lord.

All the lord is telling me is be still. That’s all, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. #BeStill.

I think she’s telling the truth. No way a person addicted to cocaine looks like this. She was probably just snorting powdered sugar in those pictures. It takes too long to wait for them to turn into into frosting, and Type II Diabetes bows to no man. Probably because it’s still recovering from another hip replacement.

Whitney Houston Gets Booed in England

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Whitney Houston continued her Crash & Burn World Tour last night at London’s O2, disappointing nearly 20,000 fans by not even bothering to attempt the high notes in most of her signature songs. The Daily Mail says

Houston admitted to the crowd that she couldn’t hit the high notes and even abandoned The Greatest Love Of All after only a couple of verses, [saying]: ‘She don’t want to come, my soprano friend. Sometimes the old girl sings, but not tonight. I want to do it, but she doesn’t want to. … She’s getting a little … temperamental, even.’

She struggled further with another of her classic songs, cutting short I Will Always Love You, and paused and panted for breath between songs.

Fans were still unhappy, with some even demanding their money back.

Remember those old “this is your brain on drugs” commercials with the egg in the frying pan? Well, they could do one for “this is your voice on drugs,” only instead of a frying pan, they’d just show the footage of sweaty Whitney Houston in a Rick James wig screeching like a barn owl caught in a hairnet made of live wires. Any questions?

Whitney Houston Back on the Crack

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Whitney Houston is postponing her tour in the UK after being inexplicably hospitalized in Paris late last week. Her record company claimed she’d been stricken with a respiratory infection, while her publicist issued a statement denying she had any health problems at all. One thing’s for sure, though — Whitney’s definitely in the hospital, and she’s definitely not performing this month. According to Nine MSN

The troubled singer has landed herself in hospital in Paris and has had to postpone the first three dates of her sellout UK tour.

Whitney’s ‘illness’ comes after widespread reports the former drug addict has gone back to crack while traveling on her worldwide comeback tour.

She was reportedly seen snorting cocaine with her ex-husband Bobby Brown at an LA bar last month.

“I saw her pull a plastic bag out, put a folded bill to her nose and discreetly snort a line from it, of what to me certainly looked like cocaine,” an onlooker told In Touch. “She’s extremely thin and looks like a disaster.”

This is usually where I’d pose a rhetorical question as to where it all went so terribly wrong, but I’m not going to do that here. Experience has taught me that there are some questions in life for which nobody really wants an answer, like “What the fuck is your problem?” or “Where did you get this picture?” or “Why aren’t you wearing any pants?” or “Is that blood?” Sometimes you can say it best by saying nothing at all. Unless you’re in front of a judge, in which case saying nothing at all is considered contempt of court and punishable by up to five years in jail and a $2,000 fine. The more you know…

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Whitney Houston is Doing Great

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whitney houston relapse

The National Enquirer was the first to report that former crack addict Whitney Houston had relapsed last week, but her performance in Brisbane, Australia over the weekend pretty much confirmed it. The Daily Mail says

The American star struggled through the opening night of her tour and was left breathless and exhausted after just two songs.

And even more bizarrely, the 46-year-old took a 20 minute break to catch her breath mid-way through the show, [leaving] the stage for twenty minutes [while] her brother Gary Houston [sang] in her absence.

“The singer appeared disoriented,” wrote the Australian Associated Press, “but the final act faltered at the finale when she croaked her way through I Will Always Love You, pausing to get a drink and towel herself down just as she was about to hit the song’s epic high note, which she turned into a soft coo.”

“Soft coo” is putting it nicely. After you watch the “performance” (and I use that term loosely) for yourself below, I think we can all agree “Gollum-esque death rattle” is a hell of a lot more accurate. You could hack an old crow to death with a garden hoe and get the same acoustic experience as being front row at that concert. The only difference is the crow wouldn’t require a half-hour smoke break or charge you a hundred and fifty bucks for the pleasure.

Whitney Houston’s Back on the Crack

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Crack might be “wack,” and crack might be “cheap,” but judging by her X Factor performance on Sunday night, Whitney Houston is back to basin’ again (FF to the 4:00 mark for the especially crack-y stuff). Star Magazine says

The admitted drug user’s bizarre appearance on Britain’s The X Factor raised eyebrows Sunday, as she nervously struggled through her song “Million Dollar Bill,” and seemed disoriented during the interview afterward.

When asked by the host when her album was to be released, Whitney paused and stared at the ground before stammering, “Yeah, the um…the album? It should released this weekend or next week sometime. I’ll be back here in April for the tour.”

When [the host] asked her what she thought of the talent, Whitney again looked at the floor for the answer. “I thought that they were…um…how do I put this? Really good.” Then she fiddled with her nose and added, “So that’s um…they’re young.”

Jesus Christ she’s freakin’ twitchy! All that’s missing is a herkie into a pile of folding chairs and a nervous smelling of the fingers she had shoved under her armpits during her Meredith Baxter-Birney monologue and she could be the old black version of Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Whitney Talks Bobby on Oprah

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whitney houston on oprah

Part two of Whitney Houston’s first televised interview in more than seven years airs on today’s Oprah, in which she reveals she regularly smoked marijuana and crack and was “addicted” to ex-husband Bobby Brown. The Daily Mail says

The 46-year-old singer described her drug use, saying it became ‘heavy’ after her 1992 movie ‘The Bodyguard.’ She said she would take marijuana combined with rock cocaine. “You put your marijuana, you lace it, you roll it up and you smoke it,” Houston explained to Winfrey.

“I didn’t do anything without [Bobby]. He was very much in control. I liked that. When he said something, I listened. I was very interested in having someone have that kind of control over me. It was refreshing.

He was my drug,” Houston added.

And everyone knows you don’t just quit a drug cold turkey. You have to be weaned off of it. Like methadone for heroin junkies, or in this case, Jenkem for Bobby Brown addicts. See, your rehab meds have to be spawned from the same chemical family as your actual drug of choice. I figure a big bottle of hot fermented butt hash is about as close as one gets to Bobby Brown’s actual molecular structure without killing inadvertently themselves.

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S.S. Whitney Houston’s GMA ‘Comeback’ Sucked

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whitney houston good morning america comeback performance

Whitney Houston’s first public singing performance in nearly a decade was a big ol’ hot mess. The NY Daily News says

“I’m sorry,” [Houston] told the capacity crowd at Rumsey Playfield, where she was singing as part of a segment to run on tomorrow’s “Good Morning America” in the 8 a.m. hour. Houston blamed her evident vocal problems on the “Oprah Winfrey Show,” which she had taped Monday to air on Sept. 14th. “When I’m talking, I should be singing,” Houston said. Not even the most loving fan could have missed the cracks in her voice that came once in each song. Or the fact that Houston treated the highest notes the same way drivers with new cars treat pot holes.

Oh, come on now. It wasn’t that bad. Especially if it was Whitney Houston doing James Brown doing a Whitney Houston impression. In that case, I’d have to say it was spot-on!

Crack is wack, crack is cheap — just like that wig:

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PHOTO SOURCE: Splash News

Whitney Houston’s Daughter Stabs Her, Attempts Suicide

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Whitney Houston’s teenage daughter with ex-husband Bobby Brown attempted suicide last week after stabbing her mother during an argument. The National Enquirer says

A family member [said] that a few days before Bobbi Kristina’s 15th birthday party, [Bobbi Kristina] “tried to stab Whitney” before [slashing her own wrists] with the razor. The shocking suicide attempt landed Bobbi Kristina in a psychiatric ward in Atlanta.

Thank God Bobbi Kristina didn’t actually succeed in killing herself. She still has so much to live for! Things like “Celebrity Rehab” and “felony check fraud.” There’s a whole world out there just waiting with open cell doors arms!

One more of Bobbi Kristina smoking pot with a friend after the jump

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