Shrinking violet Tila Tequila celebrated Cinco de Mayo just like she does every other day of her miserable, fame-whoring life. Unfortunately for her, since this was in Nevada and bestiality is illegal, she wasn’t able to get it on with a donkey. That party was taking place in Tennessee.

Singing “I Love My DJ” at LAX nightclub in Las Vegas:

You know, for a Wild West whore, Megan Fox sure is wearing a lot of clothes. But you have to remember that back in olden times, showing a bit o’ ankle and an uncovered neck was enough to be considered sexy. Just one more reason to be glad you don’t live in the olden times. Well, that, and typhoid and amoebic dysentery. If it’s largely eradicated communicable diseases you want, just try visiting India. The CDC says they got a lot of that over there.

With Josh Brolin:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Here’s some charming video footage of up-and-coming whorelette Noah Cyrus doing her own version of Akon’s deeply inappropriate song “Smack That”. There to egg her on is daddy-approved pole-dancing big sister Miley. I swear, what the hell has happened to parenting? Everyone’s just fine and dandy with whoring out your kids to make some money. Where do we live, Viet-fucking-nam? At least there, when parents sell kids into sexual slavery, they’re usually doing it for money to buy food. Here? Um, a gold-plated shitter? A shiny new belt buckle the size of a dinner plate? Well I guess I’m expecting too much after they trotted her out looking like Roman Polanski’s wet dream. They may have money, but when it comes down to it, the Cyruses are inbred, backwater hillbillies.