Whitney Houston’s will was officially filed in court yesterday, and as previously reported, ex-husband Bobby Brown doesn’t get jack shit — her estate will be going to her only daughter, Bobbi Kristina. Radar Online says:

The will is very straightforward and states that Whitney’s assets, real estate, jewelry, clothing and cars will all go to Bobbi Kristina. The money will be held in a trust until she turns 21.

The executors of the will and estate are Whitney’s mother, Cissy Houston, her brother Gary and her sister-in-law, Pat Houston.

She might have inherited what was left of her mother’s estate, but Bobbi Kristina won’t ever see any royalty checks from Whitney’s record company, thanks to the multiple advances and loans Whitney took from the $100 million deal she cut with Sony a decade ago. The Daily says:

Houston was out of cash in 2001 when she signed what was said to be a $100 million deal with Sony for six albums. While the agreement could have been worth $100 million if things had gone right, Houston only collected about $40 million. “It’s really an advance against sales. They loaned her the money, and her records didn’t sell,” a [label executive] explained.

Based on the meager sales figures, “She owes Sony at least $20 million… she’s going to have to sell 5 million more records before her family sees a dime.”

Inheriting an estate isn’t necessarily all that great, you know. You also inherit the debt and responsibility that come with it. And I’m sure it doesn’t help when the “investment portfolio” you’re inheriting is actually just a shoebox full of scratch-offs and a half-drunk bottle of Wild Turkey.

A 2006 legal document has been revealed in which Gary Coleman states he did NOT want to be taken off life support in the event he were ever in a coma. Coleman, you’ll remember, died when ex-wife Shannon Price took him off life support after he fell into a coma. Um… whoopsie. Radar Online says

The Utah Valley Regional Medical Centre [is] investigating the emergence of a new document [in which] Coleman specifically directed that he did not want anyone to pull the plug on his life support if he was ever in that situation.

In a 2006 document, Coleman checked a box titled “Choice to Prolong Life” which states, “I want my life to be prolonged as long as possible within the limits of generally accepted health care standards.”

The other option Coleman had — “Choice Not to Prolong Life” — was left unchecked.

Also checked on the document were the boxes “I Want to Be Taken Seriously” and “No One is to Refer to Me as ‘Webster’ or Use the Phrase ‘Whachu Talkin Bout Willis’ in My Presence.’” God only knows how many of this poor man’s wishes have been so wrongfully disregarded by the staff of the Utah Valley Regional Medical Centre and the public at large.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Yes, that’s Jenny McCarthy in a bikini instead of Gary Coleman, because Gary Coleman looked like this when he died.

Photos of Gary Coleman unconscious in the hospital in the hours before his death have already been sold to the highest bidder by his ex-wife Shannon Price (there’s still one photo of him dead that she’s currently shopping to the tabloids), and she’s wasted no time arranging interviews and tours of their home in exchange for cash. Radar Online says

Shannon shot a video interview within 24 hours of his death and cashed in on that. That two-hour interview was sold off in parts.

She then immediately shopped another interview, asking for up to $50,000. At the same time, she was in line to profit from the sale of a last video interview with Gary.

[But] Price says she is struggling financially [and] doesn’t know how she’s going to survive, even going so far as to make a plea to fans to send money… to pay for Coleman’s funeral.

She might have pocketed a hundred grand for those interviews, but she doesn’t have the money for a funeral because she needs to hang on to every dime she manages to wring from Coleman’s memory, because the hand-written addendum to his will giving her control of the estate isn’t going to hold up in court. Radar Online adds:

Gary Coleman’s new will [left] everything to his ex wife Shannon Price. The hand-written codicil to the 1999 will [which named his ex manager Dion Mial as executor of his estate] was written and signed by Gary Coleman in 2007.

But under Utah law, the codicil is invalid because Price and Coleman divorced.

“It is treated as having been revoked when a divorce occurs after it was written,” [Mial's attorney] said. “If they had remarried then the codicil would again be valid.”

Price told Good Morning America on Monday that the couple planned to remarry. But they didn’t. [As such], Utah law will treat the new document from the Diff’rent Strokes star as “null and void,” [making] the 1999 will is the valid one.

Fortunately, she still has a couple of the teeth she extracted from Gary’s skull right after they pulled the plug that she could sell on eBay. That ought to more than cover the embalming fees and her one-way ticket to hell.

Even though she renounced custody both in court eight years ago and in an interview with News of the World last week, Michael Jackson’s ex-wife Debbie Rowe is now saying she plans to fight for custody of Prince and Paris Jackson. According to Us Weekly

“I want my children,” Rowe said during a 90-minute phone conversation Thursday morning with NBCLA.

Katherine filed a 22-page petition seeking legal guardianship of the children. A guardianship hearing scheduled for Monday has been postponed until July 13 at the request of attorneys for Rowe and Katherine Jackson.

Rowe also said she was willing to submit to any testing, including DNA to prove that she is the children’s true biological mother, [and] would submit to psychological testing.

“I am stepping up,” Rowe said. “I have to.”

Well, of course she has to. The will very clearly states she gets nothing:

“I have intentionally omitted to provide for my former wife, Deborah Jean Rowe Jackson,” the [document] states.

… while the kids will get almost half of his estate. TMZ says

Katherine Jackson will get 40% of the assets. Michael’s 3 kids will get another 40%.
And the remaining 20% goes to several children’s charities.

Sure sounds different from Debbie’s testimony eight years ago, in which she said,

“I had the children for [Michael]. I did it for him to become a father, not for me to become a mother. You earn the title ‘parent.’ I have done absolutely nothing to earn that title.”

Of course, that was before there was a $200 million dollar estate up for grabs. That changes everything. It’s just a matter of time before her eyes turn into bulging dollar signs and her tongue starts lolling out of her mouth any time she gets near a courthouse. Yep, Saturday morning cartoons have taught me practically everything I know about the legal system. That’s why I always dress as a sexy bunny when I have my probation hearings.

Watch video of his final dress rehearsal two nights before his death after the jump

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