There couldn’t be highs if there weren’t lows, and here to support that theory is Missi Pyle in a bright turquoise nightmare complete with frosted lipstick (!). It looks like it was made by someone in a sewing class who decided to put all her draping skills to use at one time, and didn’t want to waste some good fabric. Plus, I’m not a fan of the armored-boob look. So here are some more of my favorite dresses to hate, and some dresses on people I love to hate:

Viola Davis’ fussy green goblin gown was clamping down on her boobs while fitting poorly elsewhere:

Tina Fey’s dress looked like it had an improvised last-minute length adjustment done:

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Charlie Sheen surprised everybody when he presented the Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series at the Emmy Awards last night, and not just because he appeared to have recently bathed and taken his meds, but because he had nothing but kinds words for his former cast members (video of his speech after the jump). The Daily Mail says:

Sheen stunned the audience when he declared: “I want to take a moment to get something off my chest and say a few words to everybody at Two and a Half Men.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the best for this upcoming season. We spent eight wonderful years together and I know you will continue to make great television.”

So naturally, right after he presented the award, the network had already arranged for “Two and a Half Men” stars Jon Cryer and Ashton Kutcher to take the stage. Gotta have that water cooler moment carefully orchestrated, because drama equals ratings! Except that Charlie Sheen didn’t precipitate any drama — he stopped short of crying and apologizing while pulling up his pants — so it sorta just made Cryer and Kutcher look like jackasses:

The two poked fun at Charlie with Cryer opening their bit by joking: ‘Hello, I’m that guy from Pretty in Pink.’

Then Kutcher chimed in saying: ‘I am not Charlie Sheen’, as he looked at Cryer he added: ‘Jon, I want to tell you something. I do not think that you are a troll,’ referring to a insult Charlie levied at his former co-star a few months ago.

But both they and the audience had been wrong-footed by the sincere, and incredibly sad words from the man who once branded himself a ‘warlock.’

Juxtaposed with this contrite monologue, their routine almost seemed like a cheap dig – proving that Sheen still knows how to steal a show when you least expect it.

Charlie even told Matt Lauer last week that he was “open” to the idea of returning for a cameo on the show. Talk about a complete 180. He must have found out the hard way that he couldn’t pay for whores and cocaine with #WINNING t-shirts and trash bags full of fake tiger blood.

And now, for some of the worst dresses of the night, starting with Gwyneth Paltrow:

Heidi Klum:

Katie Holmes:

Lea Michele:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

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Attention Jessica Alba: this is why you don’t wear anything designed by PM Dawn and the Clemson Tigers. Wearing orange and purple together only works if you’re a black person going to church.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Alexander McQueen was the designer du jour at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Annual Costume Institute Gala Ball last night, with Gisele Bundchen, Salma Hayek and Sarah Jessica Parker all wearing his signature creations. There were two big themes among the patrons — Black Swan, as seen on Liv Tyler, Demi Moore and Miranda Kerr, and Princess Bride, as modeled by Naomi Campbell, Fergie and Miranda Kerr above. Kirsten Dunst, as always, had the ugliest dress there, but Ashely Olsen was a close second in a dress designed that appeared to have been designed by a nearsighted lumberjack turned Victorian hippie. But I don’t know how they get off calling it a costume ball when there wasn’t a wizard, mutant or storm trooper in the bunch. Frankly, you’d be much better off just going to Comic-Con.

More pics after the jump:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

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There wouldn’t be winners if there weren’t losers too, and that’s why we here at Yeeeah! like to highlight the worst dressed at the Oscars. It’s our responsibility to keep the balance of good and bad, dark and light; to sustain the yin-yang balance of fashion, so to speak. We also happen to be bitter harpies and enjoy a good laugh at other people’s expense, too. It’s tough job, but someone’s got to do it.

Without further ado, here’s my picks for worst dressed, plus those unfortunates whose fashion choices weren’t interesting enough to elicit more than a “meh” from me.

When the first thing I think of is “tarred and feathered”, it’s not a good thing. Virginia Madsen:

24-year old (!) Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine models the latest in the 1865 Winter-Spring edition of Pioneer Woman.

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Helena Bonham Carter always takes the cake for any red carpet worst dressed list out there, so I wasn’t going to vote her my Golden Globe Epic Fail winner. It’s a gimme, and gimmes are boring. But my hand was forced when I saw she was wearing two different shoes altogether. They aren’t even the same color. Now that’s the kind of commitment to fugly you generally only see in a Hot Topic or a gathering of the Juggalos. Let’s all raise a two-liter of Faygo and toast to the hideosity that is Helena Bonham Carter!

The rest of the Golden Globes fug (and there’s plenty!) after the jump.

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I’m glad to see Dorothy Zbornak’s memory will live on through Angelina Jolie. The red carpet was sorely lacking in early eighties lounge singer wear until she showed up on the scene.

MILDLY DISTURBING EDITOR’S NOTE: This the first image that comes up when you google Bea Arthur, but remember: that which is seen cannot be un-seen. Whoever is responsible for that atrocity should be beaten repeatedly with a polyester pantsuit.

More after the jump:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

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There were lots of celebrities doing the red carpet thing at the MTV Video Music Awards last night. Like “Twilight’s” Ashley Greene, who looked fantastic. She’s like some kind of sexy present in that dress. And speaking of sexy presents, my birthday is coming up, soooo… if any of you were wondering, this is exactly what I want. But I want the one with the real kung-fu grip. And also any cowgirl/sexy nurse accessories she might come with.

TONS more red carpet pics after the jump:

Katy Perry:

Ke$ha:

Lady Gaga:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures, Bauer-Griffin Online

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The best part of any awards show is making fun of the bad dresses, but before you get your panties up in a knot, you should know that Nina Dobrev is NOT on my worst dressed list. She was actually my other favorite for the night’s best-dressed. She’s just up there as a frame of reference — an example of all that is right and good in the world — when faced with a lumbering behemoth like Kaycee Stroh and her polyester lava lamp prison or Rita Wilson’s Phantom of the Opera-themed stripper shoes. Be thee warned — now begins the winter of your discontent!

The best of the worst after the jump.

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I don’t know why the hell Nicole Richie would have been invited to the Oscars, given that “The Simple Life” was her greatest acting accolade to date, but you can guaran-damn-tee she won’t be invited back after showing up in this hot mess of a Reem Acra dress. Just think of how many early seventies sofas had to be massacred to make that frock. And then how many Bedazzlers had to give their beaded lives to try to make the dress not look like it was scalped from the couch in your meemaw’s basement. It’s just a colossal waste of upholstery and appliqué any way you cut it.

The rest of the worst-dressed after the jump.

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The 61st Annual Emmy Awards were last night, and instead of doing my standard best dressed and worst dressed posts, I’m going to try something different: being positive for a change. Yes, this year’s fashion review is going to take a page from the current politically correct climate in which nothing’s anyone’s fault and everybody who participates gets a gold star. Mediocrity is the new black! So, first up on my Best of the 2009 Emmys list is actress (?) Phoebe Price. Phoebe wins “Best Old Lady Beaver Flash” (closeup here). How’s that for a little “red carpet” action? Get it? Red carpet? Because she’s a redhead… and, you know… carpet and the drapes — oh, just forget it. I’m going to go ahead and give myself a gold star for that joke anyway. See, everybody wins!

The Best of the Rest after the jump

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I don’t know who’s responsible for making Megan Fox look like this, but I think we can all agree on one thing here: that person should be horse-whipped repeatedly and left for dead. It’s a good thing I’m not a Sith lord. The kind of anger these pictures inspire would make me more powerful than any Jedi’s ever dreamed of.

Megan Fox:

Miley Cyrus:

Kristen Stewart, non-conformist in the most conformist way possible:

Leighton Meester, or Aeon Flux?

Anna Faris’ dress courtesy Hefty Cinch Sak: