Proof that you can always manage to be more gay, Zac Efron has declared his admiration of Daniel Radcliffe’s balls. Now Magazine has the scoop:

Zac Efron is impressed that Daniel Radcliffe has been baring all in stage play Equus.

The High School Musical 3 hero, 20, was rumoured to be replacing Dan, 19, in the Broadway version of the show next year.

But he’s not sure about getting naked - and admires the bravery of the Harry Potter star, who’s been appearing starkers and wowing audiences in the Big Apple since September.

‘Daniel was very ballsy,’ Zac tells a French website.

‘Oh wow, that is the wrong choice of word for that! He is very smart. But I don’t know if I would do something edgy for the sake of doing something edgy. I think as I mature, so will my roles. I think it will come with time. I’m not going to do anything drastic.’

Oh come on, Zac. You’re not foolin’ us none. Admit it–being a part of the visual and audio abomination that is High School Musical has caused your penis to shrink back in on itself and your groin to swallow your balls. Maybe if he isn’t willing to take off his pants, well, maybe he can just play the mount.

High School Musical star Zac Efron was attacked by a man last night at a West End theater in London. The Daily Mail says

Efron was leaving the Apollo in Shaftesbury Avenue when a middle-aged man - thought to be a deranged fan - began shouting and pointing at him. The attacker… was then said to have lunged forward and tried to grab his hair.

An onlooker said: ‘Some guy just reached over and grabbed the side of Zac’s head. There was no provocation. He was shouting all kinds of things at Zac. Their security team had to bundle Zac into a car, but at one point it looked as though the man was going to be pushed into it with him.’

Zac reportedly remained calm and composed during the entire unfortunate attack. The secret to maintaining his collective cool? L’Oréal Double Extend Waterproof Mascara and Cashmere Perfect 8-Hour PowderCrème Foundation. “It just lasts and lasts!” he’s quoted as saying. “Tears, sweat, semen — and believe you me, it saw it all last night!” L’Oréal — because he’s worth it.

You know how I know Zac Efron’s gay? Um, this:

Zac Efron just wants to be one of the girls!

The 20-year-old was so concerned about his hair backstage at the Teen Choice Awards [that] he asked to borrow a curling iron. “He said [it was for girlfriend] Vanessa Hudgens, but it was really for him!” says a source. “He said the humidity was killing his hair and that it was flat.”

Moments later, Zac was seen styling his locks.

Really, the only way this story could be any gayer is if it came with volumes 1 and 2 of “Sweaty Man Love” and a Polyphonic Spree CD.

Here is Zac Efron doing his best “Really, I’m Not Gay” by motorboating “girlfriend” Vanessa Hudgens for the camera. It sure looks heterosexual, but let’s remember it’s Zac Efron we’re talking about here. You could just as easily pretend that Vanessa’s rack was some beefy dude’s ass crack and the salt water running down her chest was his butt sweat. It’s called the “gift of imagination,” and it’s totally free. Unlike cable.

Disney’s latest whore-in-training Vanessa Hudgens apparently has a Christmas-themed sex tape floating around. Christmas, because Hanukkah and Ramadan are so clichéd. London’s The Sun says

Reportedly the beauty… is sitting underneath a Christmas tree wearing nothing but a Santa hat and a red thong. She says to the camera: “I’ve been a good girl this year.” Then boyfriend Zac Efron appears before nature takes its course.

According to all the Metamucil commercials I’ve seen, “nature takes its course” means “you take a big dump.” So I don’t know what kind of perverse Christmas-themed “Two Girls, One Cup” business Vanessa’s got going on, but I’ll have no part of it, thank you very much. Unless, of course, “nature takes its course” is just code for “Zac sashays in in peep-toe pumps and a rhinestone bustier lip-syncing ‘I’m Your Venus’ on a bearskin rug.” ‘Cause if that’s the case, I’ll take two, please.

Vanessa getting roses on Valentine’s Day: