It’s rare for me to come across photos of a naked male celebrity during my daily travails on the interwebs, whereas I can’t turn around these days without getting slapped in the face by some actress’ tits or bare ass. I know that 90% of the photos I post are of female celebrities in various states of undress, and lots of you have written me to complain about the lack of balanced nudity on the site. I feel your pain, ladies — I really do — but you should be careful what you wish for. All that glitters is not gold. Sometimes it’s just the light reflecting off rivulets of sweat and chicken grease.

Zach Galifianakis in the upcoming issue of GQ magazine:

PHOTO SOURCE: GQ Magazine

Salut, mes porcelets!  It’s Sarah today.  Abby has the day off to start her training at Space Camp, but she’ll be back tomorrow.  Unless of course she meets up with a kid named Max and his best friend, Jinx… then her only hope is if John Travolta’s wife happens to be floating around and spackling on some glitter.  She once read a book on Morse code, you know!

There are probably only about 2% of you who will have any clue just what in the holy fucking hell Kelly Preston has to do with NASA.

Aaaanyway, the premiere of The Hangover happened yesterday, and I was under the impression from the previews that it starred Zach Galifianakis and some other dudes, but the red carpet photos are all about Heather Graham and her boobs in this somewhat ill-fitting and overly shiny red dress.  I seriously forgot Heather Graham was even alive, but apparently she’s not dead and she’s in The Hangover.  Who knew?

Whatever.  Boobs: