Aw, how nice. This fine young man is doing his philanthropic part by escorting this obviously mentally-challenged young lady for an amble around the block. Eating glue all day long at the adult day care can really get boring. Poor simple-minded girl forgot her pants today–whoopsy! But she doesn’t mind. Just look at her vacuous expression.  Let’s just leave the girl in peace. ‘Cause if you can’t tell by now, I’m all about being sensitive to retard’s feelings.

Okay, okay, Jessica Simpson might not be technically retarded, just like I might not technically be a fine writer. With Eric Johnson leading the way: