Last night was the Oscars, and I continued my long tradition of not watching them, so you can rest assured that I well prepared to comment on everyone’s frocks. And by “well-prepared”, I mean downloading a bunch of pictures and posting them here. What can I say, I chose to spend my evening playing Star Wars: The Old Republic over watching a parade of actresses sashay across the screen in gowns that cost more than I’ll make in 10 years. Hey, my jedi guardian isn’t going to level up by herself, you know. Anyway, here’s a short list of the winners:

Best Picture: The Artist

Best Actor: Jean Durjardin

Best Actress: Meryl Streep

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer

Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer

For the full list, click here.

Angelina Jolie struck a pose in a black Versace dress split thigh-high:

Penelope Cruz glowed in her periwinkle Armani Prive:

Natalie Portman looked gorgeous in Christian Dior:

George Clooney’s squeeze Stacy Keibler was a golden goddess in Marchesa:

Milla Jovovich was stunning in a beautiful Elie Saab gown, as long as you didn’t get too close to her face:

Despite her Schlumpy McSchlumpersons shoulders, Kate Mara’s Jack Guisso Couture was a filmy delight: