I had to look twice to make sure this wasn’t Papa Don’t Preach-era Madonna and Sally Struthers signing autographs in a Macy’s department store. For a second, I was pretty sure I’d been unwittingly thrust into an alternate universe fifteen years back in time. It took a lot of crying and spitting and pair of zip-tie restraints before anybody on the bus could convince me they were actually Jessica and Ashlee Simpson and it was still 2012.

Jess’ new shoe line has now ventured into unforgivable Courntey Stodden-territory, as evidenced by The Beckery and The Waleo.