In the best news I’ve heard all month, Tila Tequila was viciously pelted with bottles and firecrackers when she took to the stage at a Gathering of the Juggalos in Illinois this weekend. For those of you whose daddies loved you and never forced you to shop at Hot Topic out of insecurity and a desperate need for social acceptance, a “Gathering of the Juggalos” is some kind of annual 4-day music festival centered around the Insane Clown Posse. Tila told TMZ:
“I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the shit out of the port-0-potty and threw shit and piss at me when I was onstage.
These people were trying to kill me. So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor. Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me. They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!! Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking! Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared! So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back. It was scary as hell!”
The question is, did TIla Tequila really do everything she could to diffuse the situation before it got out of hand? Well, of course she did! If by “diffuse the situation” you mean “showed her tits and then hid behind a wall of security guards,” which I naturally assumed you did. TMZ says:
Halfway through the chaos, Tila ripped off her top to try and distract the crowd. That only worked for about a minute before they all went back to throwing stuff at her.
The ordeal lasted about 15 minutes. A security guard [said] someone had a watermelon that had been fermenting in urine and feces for two days and that they had been saving it all weekend for Tila. No word if the watermelon connected.
I never thought I’d ever identify with a fan of ICP, but damn if I don’t feel like an tubby midwestern suburbanite who’s just been hosed down with Faygo and a false sense of identity. Bring on the Dark Carnival, bitches!
Click here to see the rest of the assault photos; video of the event below: