You might not remember this, but at one time, Tom Cruise was considered movie-making gold. Everything he touched made millions at the box office. People liked him. He was Maverick, he was Jerry Macguire.

Then Scientology happened, and he managed to completely alienate everyone around him by going public with his fanatical devotion to the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard. And just like that, he became a joke. But not just a punchline to you and me — it seems he’s also the butt of the joke among Scientology cognoscenti (try saying that three times fast). Apparently Tommy Boy was secretly videotaped during confessional sessions, and according to a former high-level member, those tapes were used to mock him at cocktail parties when he wasn’t around. TMZ says

Mark Rathbun says he recorded Cruise during the confessional sessions and Scientology guru David Miscavige read the transcripts at parties, “joking and laughing” at them.

Rathbun says the video was “well-concealed” in the VIP auditing room, [and that] Miscavige ordered him to prepare transcripts of the sessions. Then Miscavige would hold late night whiskey parties, reading the transcripts and laughing out loud.

The nature of Tom’s alleged confessions were not disclosed.

Jesus might cast you into a lake of fire and brimstone for all eternity, but he would never laugh at you behind your back. It’s not his style. That’s why I go with Christ-Centered^TM brand salvation. Twice the taste, with none of the unwanted calories and caffeine of alien overlords blowing up volcanoes in DC-10s. 2.1 billion Christians can’t be wrong!

Ex-wife Nicole Kidman in a bikini on the set of Adam Sandler’s crappy new movie:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News