Katie Holmes serenaded husband Tom Cruise with “Whatever Lola Wants” at the A Fine Romance Benefit at 20th Century Fox yesterday, only it was an interactive serenade, which everyone knows is the most embarrassing kind of serenade of all. Tom made sure he got to sashay and preen a little on the stage, too, but then made sure to point at his wedding ring to remind everyone that he was, in fact, a heterosexual male who was clearly enjoying this display of feminine sexual aggression. To quote Dale Gribble, this performance “is the feces that is created when shame eats too much stupidity.” And then uses dignity to wipe.
UPDATE: It seems that Scientology minders have gone and yanked this off of YouTube, presumably because it’s so goddamn embarrassing. I’ll see if I can’t find it elsewhere in the meantime.