Tyra Banks is shamelessly plugging her new book “Modelland” every way she can think of, even reenacting scenes from the book in crowded public places from which people can’t escape. You know what they say about captive audiences! The Daily Mail says:

Tyra Banks hit the streets of New York dressed as one of the characters from her new fantasy book “Modelland.”

Tyra and a team of models hit the subway to ride the 7 Train.

“They all piled on and started posing on the train,” said an onlooker. “She was wearing a glittery eye mask that made her look like a superhero.”

Tyra was also seen acting out the part of her character from the book [by "tossing] her drink all over the other models,” said a witness.

“The whole thing looked like some crazy street theater.”

The book — which was written by Tyra herself, not a ghost writer — is the first in a trilogy about the mystical world of “Modelland.” Think America’s Next Top Model meets Harry Potter, with a little 7th grade creative writing flair:

The series of books are based on a teenage girl and her friends [going] to a pretend place called Modelland.

“Every girl in the world wants to go there because it’s where ‘Intoxibellas’ are trained,” Tyra [said].

“Intoxibellas are drop-dead beautiful, kick-butt fierce and, yeah, maybe they have some powers too. But I’m confirming NOTHING! You gotta wait for the book.”

And those unconfirmed “powers” is what finally brings us to the Barbie Pegasus wing that’s over her eye during her Good Morning American interview. It’s like a Golden Ticket, but way stupider. She told GMA’s Robin Roberts:

“In Modelland, this fantasy world that I created for my novel, if you find one of these — which I call a Smize — it increases your chances of getting into the most exclusive school in the entire world, the school that creates the most amazing supermodels called Intoxibellas. It increases your chances 91%.”

Modellland? Intoxibellas? Smize? Come on. Even Snooki’s book was better than this shit. And it says a lot if you’re losing literary battles to Snooki. That’s like losing a pants-pissing contest to the Cowardly Lion.