A sex tape starring male supermodel Tyson Beckford has surfaced and is currently being shopped around to the highest bidder, but before you get all excited, you should know it’s really less of a sex tape and more of just forty-five minutes of him beating his meat. TMZ says:

The seller insists the 45-minute tape shows the former Polo model pleasuring himself during a recent internet video chat with a female model.

During the chat session, Tyson makes references to some of the movies he’s appeared in … and talks about some of his co-stars.

So he jerks off for the better part of an hour. Big deal. Masturbation, like public urination or insurance fraud, is really a victimless crime at heart.