Disney’s latest whore-in-training Vanessa Hudgens apparently has a Christmas-themed sex tape floating around. Christmas, because Hanukkah and Ramadan are so clichéd. London’s The Sun says
Reportedly the beauty… is sitting underneath a Christmas tree wearing nothing but a Santa hat and a red thong. She says to the camera: “I’ve been a good girl this year.” Then boyfriend Zac Efron appears before nature takes its course.
According to all the Metamucil commercials I’ve seen, “nature takes its course” means “you take a big dump.” So I don’t know what kind of perverse Christmas-themed “Two Girls, One Cup” business Vanessa’s got going on, but I’ll have no part of it, thank you very much. Unless, of course, “nature takes its course” is just code for “Zac sashays in in peep-toe pumps and a rhinestone bustier lip-syncing ‘I’m Your Venus’ on a bearskin rug.” ‘Cause if that’s the case, I’ll take two, please.
Vanessa getting roses on Valentine’s Day: