Here’s what years of anorexia and a prematurely aborted mummification do to your gams, ladies. Despite what you initially thought, that leg doesn’t belong to Captain Barbosa. Those hams and calves belong to one Victoria Beckham, who by my calculation is actually 117 years old. Or legally undead. I hear she only eats the brains of unsuspecting hitchhikers and vagrant prostitutes. Fortunately, they’re low-cal and low-sodium, so there’s no unsightly bloating.
More unholiness up close and HQ after the jump