There’s a new cafeteria lady in town, and she wears stilettos and weighs the same as your 5th grader. Says Digital Spy,

Victoria Beckham has revealed that she loves to help out at her children’s school.

The former Spice Girl explained that she has volunteered in the classroom and cafeteria in the past because she loves spending time with sons Brooklyn, 11, Romeo, 7, and Cruz, 4.

Beckham told Glamour: “I travel a fair amount, and when I’m here in LA, everything revolves around the kids. So if I’m not working, I go to the school and help serve lunches to the children. They just love that. It’s like, ‘Oh, there’s Mummy serving me!’

Gee, I wonder if the school required her to fill out an application and have a background check done to volunteer, and get a food handler’s certificate? Yeah, I don’t think so either. Though it would probably be entertaining to see Victoria Beckham serving lunches, because you know she’d be serving like, three bite’s worth of food. And don’t even mention the fat kids. She’d probably give them a salad sprinkled with laxative or something.

Shopping at the Grove: